Love not war, but religion above all

The recent barrage of religious nonsense is brought to us by Islam. Though not to say that the other religions were sensible in the meantime.

Hmmm, where do I start? In Indonesia for example Islamist officials in West Java were offended by the costumes worn by Sudanese Jaipongan dancers. The officials would like to see more modest costumes since currently one can see bare hands, some hair and possibly some feet. The officials are also unhappy about the moves, which they feel are very erotic. When women move around they can excite men, and that’s not good. So, coming soon to dance halls near you “Statues of Sudan Under Blankets” – safe for the whole family to be bored by.

If you like this sort of thinking and you live in the Swat Valley in Pakistan, well you are in luck, because fundamentalism is coming to you, yes you! Now you won’t be bothered by all the money that those infidel tourists used to bring in. Now you can spend your time on more wholesome activities, like stoning people to death, or if you have friends in Afghanistan, then getting stoned is also an alternative.

There are some good news coming out of Saudi Arabia, a famously progressive country. The King has appointed a woman as the deputy education minister, the highest post held by a woman. That puts the country at the forefront of 7th century development. It is also rumoured that soon women will have the right to sneeze in public. I do wonder what office arrangement the new deputy minister will have, given the rule that a woman must be accompanied by a male family member outside the home. Her husband’s life suddenly has a whole new meaning. He is an accessory. Some women accessorise with jewelry, some with various bags, while in Saudi Arabia women have husbands to wear to work. Other perks enjoyed by Saudi women include being driven everywhere, never having responsibility for anything and not having to worry about personal hygiene, their hair or any other aspect of their looks. I guess that’s the beauty of dressing like a ninja.

In Malaysia, the home of enlightened and sensible legislation, twenty-six unmarried couples were arrested during the annual Valentine’s Day arrests to enforce sharia law among Muslims. Officially, the crime is “being in close proximity to a person of the opposite sex behind closed doors”. In other news, the close proximity (to each other) of Islamic officials who came up with this bullshit could create a black hole that will destroy the planet.

Islamic fundamentalist in India on the other hand had help from Hindu fundamentalists (those are the people who believe in 1384 gods exactly, not one more, not one less) in disrupting Valentine’s day celebrations by harassing young couples. These fundamentalists are the ones who can see the perils of caring and love for one another and the apocalyptic dangers those bring. Luckily they will save us by killing everyone and making the world indeed a safe place.

If all of this doesn’t appeal to you and you feel like you want to end it all, for yourself at least, make sure you don’t try in Malaysia. There, suicide has been criminalised recently in order to stop people from killing themselves. Yes, in Malaysia those who kill themselves will be thrown in jail. And if you fail to do it, you will also be thrown in jail for an attempt on your own life. The officials are hoping that those with no will to live will be reformed by being incarcerated. They must base this on experiences with animals. When freely roaming animals are put in a cage they brighten up and get much happier. My guess is that if this law doesn’t curb the number of attempted suicides, they punishment will be increased from incarceration to the death penalty. That will teach them to try to kill themselves without government involvement.

Seriously, how can any intelligent person support this religious rubbish. It’s so sad and stupid that it’s not even funny any more. There is no imaginary friend (or if you are Hindu, imaginary society) in the sky, so grow up and get a life.