The other day I went to the bank with the intention of depositing money into my account. The most common difficulty when it comes to depositing money at the bank used to be the lack of it. Now it is the mandated small-talk by the bank tellers.
In the “olden days” when one would go shopping at the local store, the visit would often include the chat between the store owner and the shopper. This is because the store owner and the shopper were both living in a small community, they knew each other and their community and hence had something to talk about.
As time went by cities grew larger and communities became bigger and at the same time less close-knit and less communal. So business transactions (like shopping, banking, etc.) developed under a separate set of norms to personal interactions, which remained governed by social norms. So when you see a friend on the street you have a quick chat and catch up on what has been happening. On the other hand when you go to the bank, you politely indicate that you would like to deposit money and the bank teller processes your request and politely gives you a receipt. That concludes the business transaction.
If you are selling bread you follow the same professional process, which in this case is an exchange of money for bread. Very simple. As a baker you might become friends with one or more of your customers. In that case you might save a loaf for one of your customers from time to time, because you are friends with the customer. This act is essential under social norms, which you as the baker with “customers-friends” have started to invoke. It can also be beneficial from a business perspective, as you are developing a loyal customer base. Because you are mixing business and social norms it is important to note that you are giving something up (the immediate sale of the loaf of bread) in order to get something else (the potential for a loyal customer).
Banks also like to have loyal customers. Not so long ago they decided that to get loyal customers in a relatively competitive industry they might benefit from introducing some social norms. However, this was only limited to the small-talk interactions with the customers. Banks had no intention of actually giving anything up in order to secure that customer loyalty. For example, if you are 10 cents short today, your friendly baker will probably be ok with you giving the money the following day – you being a loyal customer and all. However, this doesn’t quite work with banks. Banks like to use social norms when it comes to customer loyalty, so that if they screw something up the customers will forgive them. However, if one is somewhat late on a loan repayment, there is no forgiveness at all. Business norms are invoked immediately with that old “it’s nothing personal, it’s just business”. But it is personal. The banks have made it personal.
When you go to a bank these days, the teller will first greet you and then ask you how you are. Then they will ask you what they can do for you today. Then whilst the teller is processing your request they will proceed to ask you how your day has been. If you happen to go on a Monday they will enquire about your weekend. If you have kids, they will ask how the kids have been. “How’s Jimmy’s maths going?” Since they can see what your name is, they will insist on addressing you on a first name basis. They are YOUR FRIEND! This is the banks’ way of introducing social norms in order to develop customer loyalty. They can advertise that they are the friendly local bank invoking memories of days gone by. However, this charade is scary and insulting.
When I go to the bank I want to complete the transaction at hand as soon as possible. I don’t know the bank teller that is processing the transaction and I am not their friend. Most of the time the person working in the bank lives in a different suburb so they are not part of my community. I don’t want to discuss my day, my problems or what I am doing tonight with a complete stranger. If you had someone walk down the street and ask you these same questions you would probably walk away from them with quick steps. And I really really don’t want some stranger working at the bank addressing me with my first name in a manner appropriate for “old friends”.
The reality is that when something goes wrong with the (customer & bank) relationship, such as a late loan repayment punished with additional costs, the invoked social norms make us feel betrayed and we react in an inappropriate manner when it comes to business norms. The effect of this is that we start to hate the bank (even though from the business perspective we were at a fault with a late payment) and then we decide to switch banks. Therefore, half-assed social norms in business really do quite the opposite. They make for uncomfortable small-talk at the counter and for vindictive behaviour when the bank shows its cold business side.
So next time my response to the intrusive chatter will be “it’s none of YOUR business” since after all, “it’s nothing personal, it’s just ACTUAL business”.
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